BLOGGING TOWARD SUNDAY…

After the last time…

When I finally turned from flight

And from somewhere came the strength to go back…

I rummaged the ruins,

A refugee picking through bombed belongings

For what surely was destroyed

And began again.

I began my new life

Thick and rough

With an alarm system on the heart

And an escape hatch in the head.

It was as spontaneous as a military campaign.

I loved in small amounts like a sick man sipping whiskey.

Each day was lived within its limits

Each moment swallowed quickly.

It was not all – our embracement of life,

But neither was it the hunched and jabbing stance of the boxer.

There was courtesy and a sort of caring

It was not bad.

Now this,

This thing – this feeling

This unbidden intrusion which had no part to play

But played it anyway.

All those things scrupulously screened out want in.

And I can sense it coming, a second coming, a second shattering.

Someone, something is at me once more, mocking my defenses,

Wrenching my soul.

Heaven help me!

Is it you again, Lord?

                                    John Shea

Filed under: Blogging Toward Sunday